One of the first things you learn in nursing school is how to take vital signs. Then you move onto assessing patients, and eventually get to the "good stuff," like urinary catheters and injections. That's where I'm at right now and while I love practicing my skills in the lab I have this weight on my shoulders about actually having to preform the skills on a real patient. Sure it's one thing to joke about sticking the NG tube in a brain but what if it actually happens? Someone's life is going to be in my hands and that is a lot of pressure.
My mom told me once that ever since I was young if I thought I was going to fail at something I wouldn't give it a shot. Avoidance worked as a child but now I'm afraid I can't run. This is real life and a calling I believe the Lord has given me (and we all know what happened to Jonah when he ran, I'd like to keep my feet on land thank you very much!).
I know I'm a student so mistakes are bound to happen, it's part of the learning process. But a mistake in a hospital can be deadly, this isn't putting the wrong mix-in in the ice cream (not to knock Cold Stone workers). I just get very scared and want to run when I have to embark on unfamiliar terrain. I still have a few weeks till I will actually have my first eight hour shift at the hospital but as each week passes I get a little more anxious. In know at the end of the semester I will look back and say "silly me" for being so scared but until then I pray every morning for confidence, a calm spirit, and that my first patient will be a good learning experience.
