Happily Ever After...

Behind each patient in a bed is a person who has a story. That story varies from pleasant, to adventurous, to sad and every combination in between. I'm the listening ear at the bedside who gets to enter their world (if only for a few hours) and step outside of mine.

While taking vital signs in the Outpatient wing at Virginia Baptist I came in contact with a man in his late 40's who was wheelchair bound due to a left leg amputation. This man was rough, both in his demeanor and speech. Can't say I blame him. Nonetheless I put on a smile and went about my business, ignoring his cynicism. As I prepared to walk out of the room he looked me in the eyes and said "Let me tell you something. I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, and I didn't do drugs. Yet I am the one who ended up in this chair without a leg." Being completely caught off guard and not knowing how to respond I tried to hide my shocked face and quietly said my goodbye as I entered the hallway. Aside from diabetes (the disease that unfortunately took his leg) this man was healthy but he most definitely was not in good spirits. No matter how kind I was the fact that he was very frustrated and angry with his current situation was NOT going to change. His life had not worked out the way he had planned and he most definitely was not going to get the "happily ever after" he wanted...

My roommates and I sat around the other day (ok when I say the other day it can literally mean the other day OR more times than not it means a while ago, anyways moving on...) watching trailers for four movies that will be coming out (or recently have); Valentines Day, Letters to Juliet, The Last Song, and Dear John. Those last two are based on Nicholas Sparks books p.s.. Naturally we got sucked into them because there is a romantic element in each of them and in movies you can ALWAYS count on happy endings.

For that brief hour and half I can escape reality and delve into the lives of these characters who are involved in fabulous relationships. I get to experience the highs and lows right along with them. And in the end everything works out! That's what everyone wants, a story that works out in the end. Unfortunately what we forget is that "chick-flick" movies are fiction. The character's actions and words are scripted. Now I'm not trying to sound like the stepmother from Enchanted when she refers to earth as the place where "happy endings do not exist" but I think especially as girls we get wrapped up in these fictitious men who have everything going for them and are so perfect and that's what we hold real men with imperfections up against. That's why our happy endings never look like the one's in the movies. We're holding them up against an unrealistic standard. I know I have made that mistake; wanting my life to look and feel like one scripted right out of Hollywood. But maybe, just maybe, the happy ending can be found. It may not necessarily be what WE wanted (or what we thought we wanted I should say). Maybe it's what He (God) lays out for us and I'm learning in the end that is much better. 

As nursing students despite the prognosis we are supposed to hope for the best. The reality of life is not everyone gets the happy ending they were hoping for. But God can use all circumstances for His glory. I fully realize it's a lot easier for me to sit here with both my legs and talk about how God can be glorified through my patient's pain and suffering. But my life hasn't been the fairytale I've longed for either. By no means does it compare to having suffered the loss of limb but God has taken me on a roller coaster in the last four years and not everything has been a picnic. There is a "happily ever after" and that's Heaven but until I get there I will just be living life the best way I know how; one step at a time, loving people along the way, and following God whole heartedly.

And now back to my reality which is studying for finals haha!

Rock, Paper, Scissors...shave!

Two Fridays ago during clinical my "hall buddy" (aka another nursing student assigned to the same hall as myself) and I asked the nurses what we could do to help them since our morning tasks with our patients were all wrapped up. One of the nurses got a big smile on her face and said "well we have a cardiac cath patient that needs to be prepped." [For those who don't know a cardiac catheterization is procedure where the Dr. goes in the femoral artery and advances a catheter into the heart to see how many vessels are blocked which would cause a poor functioning heart, chest pain, or inevitably a heart attack.]

Like good nursing students we nodded and collected the supplies; a razor, the electric razor holder (so that's probably not the technical name but go with me!), prep cleansing pads, and a towel. My buddy looked at me and said "rock, paper, scissor for who gets to shave the groin?"

I replied with a "well that seems fair enough, BUT how about each tackle one side?" I was NOT about to lose and shave the whole groin myself haha. When I signed up for nursing school I knew there would be gross tasks, moments where I would have to act professional when inside all I wanted to do was run in the other direction and cry or laugh, skills that would scare me, and a whole lot of body parts that you once were taught to be "private." Well I'm here to tell you that for me nothing is private anymore.

However, modesty is key when preforming any kind of procedure on a patient. I am especially aware of this when dealing with a male patient. I wonder what it's like for the guy to be laying there as two young female nurses get awfully close to his privates with a razor. I kind of felt bad for the guy. Nontheless it had to be done. So I got my professional face on, explained to the man what we would be doing, and got my shave on (not with a girly Venus razor like the one pictured above of course!, we used an electric razor the hospital keeps on hand for these very moments.) Being that it was the first time that I had to shave someone's groin I wasn't exactly sure what areas needed to be cleared of hair so unfortunately my buddy and I had to go BACK in and clean the area up some after talking with my instructor. He informed us that the design was "like boxer shorts with a mohawk." I felt really bad for the patient. He was a trooper though and just closed his eyes and tuned us out. Can't say I blamed him.

Well, that was an experience that I could mark off on my check off sheet but I was not looking forward to doing again anytime soon  and wouldn't you know I would get MORE practice because...count them... TWO more patients were going to the cath lab that day. Again like good little nursing students we got the supplies together for each and tackled them one at a time. Needless-to-say we were pros by the end of the day. Seriously.

Sometimes I think nursing is a profession for those who don't know exactly what they want to be. You get a little bit of everything and a few Fridays ago I got to be groomer/cosmetologist. Not sure I'm very qualified for the job but it was the task at hand so I did it.

Lately I've been wrestling with God persay. I feel like I'm distant and want more for my life but I'm not quite sure how to get there. I picked up Forgotten God by Francis Chan (like I have time to leisurely read) and began reading. I cannot do justice for how great the book is so pick up a copy and get your read on. Anyways, the thing I am working through right now is being sensitive to the Holy Spirit's call on my life. I'm learning its not necessarily "a ten-year-from-now" type calling but rather a day-to-day calling. What does He want from me TODAY? Who does He want me to love TODAY? Etcetera. Today is all we're promised anyways right? Who knows what He will ask me to do, all I know is that He will enable me and I should follow like a good little "Christ student" (we are suppose to be learning to be more Christ-like everyday aren't we?).

Something a nursing professor said the first week of class sophomore year was that "God doesn't call the prepared, He prepares the called."

So I will take it one day at a time; one "task" at a time, even if it's unfamiliar, uncomfortable or gross.

Flashback

A week ago instead of having our typical clinical (8 hour shift on the floor) my group had a "SimLab" day. These four hours were dedicated to learning all about IVs and then we got to practice placing them. I'm not going to lie, going into the lab I was very nervous. Sticking a needle into someone's vein petrified me because I just keep picturing the needle digging around in someone's arm. Yeah, I know that's weird and disgusting but that is what I kept picturing from all the horror stories I have heard (no I have never had an IV myself nor have I ever given blood because I never seem to meet the requirements). Anyways, the first hour or so was spent talking about IVs and then we were given patient scenarios and had to pick out the proper gauge and site for the IVs. Then we got to practice on fake arms and hands. Can I just say that it is totally cool to me that there are simulation arms and hands out there that have "blood" in them so that the experience is as close to real as possible?!?! Sticking it into the arm, I became like a pro. Oh except that one time I forgot to place pressure above the site of entry after taking the tourniquet off and blood came pouring out before I could attach the tubing! Oops. Better to learn it in the lab then make that mistake with a patient!

Then came the dreaded moment...practicing on a partner. Despite my hesitation I knew that I needed to practice this skill. In one of my past entries I talked about Fran, an IV specialist I had the pleasure of following one day, and I aspire to be as good as her so I need all the practice I can get. A lot of people talk about IV placing being the most traumatic experience in the hospital and I want to be one of those fabulous nurses who can cause as little pain and get it in in a jiffy. Back to lab, so I decided I would insert the IV first because I figured the longer I waited the more my nerves would get worked up. I spent some serious time with God praying about IVs  that morning; specifically that I would have a steady hand and do well but I said another quick prayer (so all my bases were covered, ha!). Then my amazing instructor came over and I went for it.

Here I am inserting my first IV on my partner Brea. Unfortunately I missed the vein so I didn't get the flashback of blood (a sure sign you're not in the right place). But it was ok, my instructor lovingly came along side me and talked me through the process of getting it into the vein. I was very hesitant to dig around so after a few minutes I took it out.

Wanting to give it another shot the only guy in our group, Z, volunteered his arm. (Guys have great veins for practicing by the way). So I set him up, found the vein and inserted the IV. Flashback right away! Success! Surprisingly he jumped back when I inserted it which caught me off guard since Brea hadn't but then he laughed and said that he didn't even feel it. Funny guy, almost gave me a heart attack.

Then it was Brea's turn. It's hard to tell but my arm is turning purple because she too missed the vein and had to dig a bit until it placed right. Surprisingly it didn't hurt, maybe a pinch here or there but I did loose feeling in my arm! Ha. She did great though - and when you see that flashback somehow your day gets that much better.

Here is my lovely clinical group all bandaged up after Simlab.

One is the Loneliest Number

Happy Valentines Day!

Over the last few years the Lord has been really convicting me about Valentines day. A few years ago I was given the challenge to pick someone who didn't have a Valentine and do something special for them (i.e. an orphan/widow - you know the ones God talks about in James 1:27). I really took that to heart and sent flowers to a widow last year who is near and dear to my heart. That being said I am not trying to be like "look at me," rather just prefacing my next few sentences. 

The other evening I went to my friend Becky's dorm to work on a secret Valentines day present for this years "special" person and there was a sign on the fridge that read something like "attend this years I hate Valentines Day party." Some of the girls hanging out in the main area were talking about how they were going to dress in all black and basically sit around and throw a pity party. I was frankly disgusted. I get it, being single on this holiday is not the most pleasant thing. Chocolate, roses, cards with lovey dovey sayings, and other couples gazing into each other's eyes are throw at you from every direction. There have been times in the years past where I have wished I had someone special to spend the day with so I totally get wanting that. But a pity party? Really?!?! How old are we? I wanted to be like who ever said that Valentines Day was all about just a guy and a girl? Why not dress up and celebrate with the ones you love? I mean its a national day of love for crying out loud. Or why not humble yourself a little bit and realize being single isn't the WORST thing in the world, how about those who don't get to spend this Valentines Day with their valentine because he or she past away? Alright, I'll get off my soapbox. I was just really was saddened that they had turned this great opportunity to love on someone else into a day of woe is me.

Unfortunately I do not have a hospital story to relate to this post, I just simply wanted to wish everyone a Happy Valentines Day! And I will leave you with these pictures...

When I came home late Friday night from the hospital there were rose petals (fake) in a trail from the front door to my bedroom.

There was a bunch of balloons and a box of candy waiting for me! My roommate is the greatest! It was a pretty rough evening so to come home to this was so great! I walked the trail like three times before I texted her because I could hardly believe how thoughtful this idea was ( I rarely am surprised but I had no idea this was coming)! So props to you Nicole, you will never know how much this meant to me!

The frog is my favorite balloon!

Then a few minutes after this surprise I was texted by a friend back home who said I should check out his facebook status and respond otherwise I would miss out. Curiosity got the best of me so I got on and it read something like "TP is taking Valentines Day applications: some lucky girl will get flowers overnighted to her." I laughed it off because some other girl had responded but he suggested that I write a response. So I tried to think of something clever and made a joke in my "application" about having a pristine driving record (he was the one I got in the accident with!). He then informed that I had won. In all reality I just thought he was playing around with me. Fast forward to today. I got a text today from him to see if they had gotten here. I was at church and had to stay late to help set up for the youth outreach this weekend so I texted my roommate to see if they were here and she said no. So I informed him and he quickly got on calling FedEx and the flower company. Well I finally got home and I walked into my room, with my roommate following me which I thought was odd, until I saw the box of flowers on my bed! She told me she had lied so that I would be surprised (I mean I can't blame her, I was surprised) but now I was mortified because I had told him they hadn't gotten here. Long story short I got a hold of him a little to late and the company is sending ANOTHER bouquet to make up for the lost one. Two bouquets, how lucky am I?!?! This weekend that I thought was just going to be another weekend was made extra special by two very special people! 

There are the beautiful flowers! TP is the greatest!