Flashback

A week ago instead of having our typical clinical (8 hour shift on the floor) my group had a "SimLab" day. These four hours were dedicated to learning all about IVs and then we got to practice placing them. I'm not going to lie, going into the lab I was very nervous. Sticking a needle into someone's vein petrified me because I just keep picturing the needle digging around in someone's arm. Yeah, I know that's weird and disgusting but that is what I kept picturing from all the horror stories I have heard (no I have never had an IV myself nor have I ever given blood because I never seem to meet the requirements). Anyways, the first hour or so was spent talking about IVs and then we were given patient scenarios and had to pick out the proper gauge and site for the IVs. Then we got to practice on fake arms and hands. Can I just say that it is totally cool to me that there are simulation arms and hands out there that have "blood" in them so that the experience is as close to real as possible?!?! Sticking it into the arm, I became like a pro. Oh except that one time I forgot to place pressure above the site of entry after taking the tourniquet off and blood came pouring out before I could attach the tubing! Oops. Better to learn it in the lab then make that mistake with a patient!

Then came the dreaded moment...practicing on a partner. Despite my hesitation I knew that I needed to practice this skill. In one of my past entries I talked about Fran, an IV specialist I had the pleasure of following one day, and I aspire to be as good as her so I need all the practice I can get. A lot of people talk about IV placing being the most traumatic experience in the hospital and I want to be one of those fabulous nurses who can cause as little pain and get it in in a jiffy. Back to lab, so I decided I would insert the IV first because I figured the longer I waited the more my nerves would get worked up. I spent some serious time with God praying about IVs  that morning; specifically that I would have a steady hand and do well but I said another quick prayer (so all my bases were covered, ha!). Then my amazing instructor came over and I went for it.

Here I am inserting my first IV on my partner Brea. Unfortunately I missed the vein so I didn't get the flashback of blood (a sure sign you're not in the right place). But it was ok, my instructor lovingly came along side me and talked me through the process of getting it into the vein. I was very hesitant to dig around so after a few minutes I took it out.

Wanting to give it another shot the only guy in our group, Z, volunteered his arm. (Guys have great veins for practicing by the way). So I set him up, found the vein and inserted the IV. Flashback right away! Success! Surprisingly he jumped back when I inserted it which caught me off guard since Brea hadn't but then he laughed and said that he didn't even feel it. Funny guy, almost gave me a heart attack.

Then it was Brea's turn. It's hard to tell but my arm is turning purple because she too missed the vein and had to dig a bit until it placed right. Surprisingly it didn't hurt, maybe a pinch here or there but I did loose feeling in my arm! Ha. She did great though - and when you see that flashback somehow your day gets that much better.

Here is my lovely clinical group all bandaged up after Simlab.

One is the Loneliest Number

Happy Valentines Day!

Over the last few years the Lord has been really convicting me about Valentines day. A few years ago I was given the challenge to pick someone who didn't have a Valentine and do something special for them (i.e. an orphan/widow - you know the ones God talks about in James 1:27). I really took that to heart and sent flowers to a widow last year who is near and dear to my heart. That being said I am not trying to be like "look at me," rather just prefacing my next few sentences. 

The other evening I went to my friend Becky's dorm to work on a secret Valentines day present for this years "special" person and there was a sign on the fridge that read something like "attend this years I hate Valentines Day party." Some of the girls hanging out in the main area were talking about how they were going to dress in all black and basically sit around and throw a pity party. I was frankly disgusted. I get it, being single on this holiday is not the most pleasant thing. Chocolate, roses, cards with lovey dovey sayings, and other couples gazing into each other's eyes are throw at you from every direction. There have been times in the years past where I have wished I had someone special to spend the day with so I totally get wanting that. But a pity party? Really?!?! How old are we? I wanted to be like who ever said that Valentines Day was all about just a guy and a girl? Why not dress up and celebrate with the ones you love? I mean its a national day of love for crying out loud. Or why not humble yourself a little bit and realize being single isn't the WORST thing in the world, how about those who don't get to spend this Valentines Day with their valentine because he or she past away? Alright, I'll get off my soapbox. I was just really was saddened that they had turned this great opportunity to love on someone else into a day of woe is me.

Unfortunately I do not have a hospital story to relate to this post, I just simply wanted to wish everyone a Happy Valentines Day! And I will leave you with these pictures...

When I came home late Friday night from the hospital there were rose petals (fake) in a trail from the front door to my bedroom.

There was a bunch of balloons and a box of candy waiting for me! My roommate is the greatest! It was a pretty rough evening so to come home to this was so great! I walked the trail like three times before I texted her because I could hardly believe how thoughtful this idea was ( I rarely am surprised but I had no idea this was coming)! So props to you Nicole, you will never know how much this meant to me!

The frog is my favorite balloon!

Then a few minutes after this surprise I was texted by a friend back home who said I should check out his facebook status and respond otherwise I would miss out. Curiosity got the best of me so I got on and it read something like "TP is taking Valentines Day applications: some lucky girl will get flowers overnighted to her." I laughed it off because some other girl had responded but he suggested that I write a response. So I tried to think of something clever and made a joke in my "application" about having a pristine driving record (he was the one I got in the accident with!). He then informed that I had won. In all reality I just thought he was playing around with me. Fast forward to today. I got a text today from him to see if they had gotten here. I was at church and had to stay late to help set up for the youth outreach this weekend so I texted my roommate to see if they were here and she said no. So I informed him and he quickly got on calling FedEx and the flower company. Well I finally got home and I walked into my room, with my roommate following me which I thought was odd, until I saw the box of flowers on my bed! She told me she had lied so that I would be surprised (I mean I can't blame her, I was surprised) but now I was mortified because I had told him they hadn't gotten here. Long story short I got a hold of him a little to late and the company is sending ANOTHER bouquet to make up for the lost one. Two bouquets, how lucky am I?!?! This weekend that I thought was just going to be another weekend was made extra special by two very special people! 

There are the beautiful flowers! TP is the greatest!

I'm not in Connecticut anymore, or WAIT, am I?

So clinical was cancelled Friday. Why is that you ask?

Uh, yeah that's right - we got a "little" bit of the wonderful fluffy white stuff also known as snow. Second weekend in a row actually. Funny thing is while I enjoy the break that the snow provides, after a day or so of being snowed in I'm ready to join the world again. I would rather go to clinical, learn some things, put my hours in and enjoy the beautiful sunshine days at the end of the semester (built into our schedule in case of snow days). When I first heard the teachers say they had built in snow days during orientation I was like WHAT? We are most definitely not going to need those. This is Virginia, maybe if we were back in Connecticut, but not here. Boy was I wrong!

Nicole and I desperately tried to find things to do with ourselves. Movies have been exhausted and there is only so much homework one can do before going crazy...

So we ventured out in the snow. Here I am with my gram mobile. (Pardon the outfit but I threw whatever on because I don't have my "snow clothes" here.)

Looking a hot mess, but we made it to the mailbox across the street. Woa, a trip to the mailbox?!?! I know we like to live it up!!

When we came back in and defrosted ourselves I looked at my high heels and they were calling out to me. Don't get me wrong, my nursing shoes (those bright white ones in the middle) are comfortable but when you have to wear them all the time your other shoes start to feel left out. You know? Plus being in sweats for the last two weekends just wasn't cutting it anymore. A girl needs to feel like a girl. So Nicole and I decided to dress up...

All dressed up and nowhere to go...but oh well! It felt nice to be dressed up. Before I put this dress on I walked around in my hot pink one with my pink pumps just because! Then after taking some photos I sat around in my heels because they needed to feel loved. I realize that this makes me a little crazy/silly/absurd but I'll blame it on the snow.

This evening we decided we were going OUT. We got in Pearl, Nicole's car, who handled the snow like a pro and went to see Dear John with my favorite eye candy, Channing Tatum!

So that has been my life for the last week or so. Seeing as I chose a school in the south I never thought I would have to deal with this much snow. All I have to say is I have enjoyed the sleep in a little later mornings but I sincerely hope the snow is done. Sunshine is very much welcomed!

happy BIRTHday

Against all odds one sperm meets an egg, cells divide, the egg implants in the uterine lining, forty weeks pass, labor kicks in, long excruciating hours pass and then the baby arrives! Ok, so that's the abridged version of the beautiful process of pregnancy and birth (or not so beautiful depending on who you ask, haha).

If you couldn't guess I am in an OB nursing class right now and I love it. I'm kind of a dork really when it comes to the whole pregnancy thing. I can remember being in middle/high school and renting birthing videos from the library or checking out books on the "miracle of life." Amidst the screaming, blood, and cutting there was something so fascinating to me. I even got the chance in high school to shadow one of my friend's mom on the Labor and Delivery floor at the local hospital. When asked if I wanted to watch my first live birth I was beyond stoked, that is until I got in the room. I have no idea why but after five minutes or so my hearing started to go, I started feeling sweat on the back of my neck, and my eyes started going black. I quietly excused myself into the hallway and quickly found my way to a seat. I am not a squeamish person but there was something very different about watching the birthing process on videos and being in the room while it is actually happening. Next on the agenda that day was a C-section. I got to watch behind a glass window. Thank the Lord there was a glass window. All I can say is "oh the tugging and manipulating."

Whoever said childbirth is a beautiful thing was STRAIGHT LYING.

This past weekend I had back to back 12 hour shifts on the Mother Baby unit at the local hospital. The mothers and their babies are transferred from the L&D unit to the Mother Baby floor shortly after delivery, barring no complications, until discharged from the hospital approximately 48 hours later. (My L&D clinical isn't until much later in the semester.) I really like the idea of L&D but after my first experience I have some hesitations as to whether or not I will be able to handle the whole thing.

Heading into my Mother/Baby rotation I was assigned chapters in my textbook to read. Let me say that as much as I thought I knew about what to expect after delivery I DIDN'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT. As I read the postpartum chapters and saw the pictures I was mortified. Recently after watching my sister go through pregnancy and hearing the whole after birth stories I have been kind off put of by whole thing. Don't get me wrong I want to be a mom some day but big bellies, stretch marks, hemorrhoids, tearing "down under", etc. were presenting a pretty good case if you asked me why not to put myself through it. Anyways, back to the textbook. My fears and hesitations over the whole process were intensified with every paragraph I read. I finally got to the point where I could not contain myself anymore and I shared the gory details with my roommates (I bet they love living with me sometimes, ha!). Stretching and tearing and blood oh my!

I showed up to the hospital on Saturday morning excited for the day ahead but unaware of what it entailed. I mainly did baby assessments and watched the nurses teach the family various things that pertained to their brand new bundles of joy. It was very low-key. Sunday things picked up. I was in charge of assessing the baby and mom. I'm over the whole "excuse me while I check out your privates" deal but I was a little unsure of assessing the uterus. So my excellent instructor showed me how to properly assess the postpartum mom and my day began. I was off to the nursery to retrieve the baby. He was born about seven hours before I got there so he was brand new (my baby on Saturday was almost two days old). One highlight of my day was when I was teaching the new dad how to change the baby's diaper efficiently. As the dad, who was thoroughly disgusted with the poopy diaper, wiped up the stool while trying to cover his nose baby J decided he was going to void. Pee shot up like a hose and got everywhere. I had tried to tell him to keep the baby covered because leaks are common but I guess experiencing it for yourself does the job better! At the end of the day I was saying goodbye to the family and held the baby one last time. As I looked at the tiny human being in my arms I realized something, you know those people who said childbirth is a beautiful thing? Maybe this was what they were talking about and maybe they weren't lying after all. He wasn't mine but as I got to know him throughout the day and as I held him I realized all that pain, all that bleeding, all that trauma to one's body is TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Other things I learned that I wasn't expecting (nice play on words eh?):
- Parenthood is an adjustment. I'm sure everyone out there is like duh Emily!, but its one thing to KNOW that and it is a whole other thing to EXPERIENCE it firsthand. Nine months of preparation can only prepare you so much. It's kinda like school. Its one thing to read about what to expect and what to look out for with your patient but its a whole other thing to deal with the patient clinically. Once the little guy/girl enters this world there are so many questions and things to get used to. Watching the parents interact with each other and their new child was quite entertaining. Everyday is truly an adventure of new experiences and learning new things about this new life.
- Circumcision was not what I expected. Now I know what circumcision is but I was not ready to watch one happen. I will not go into specific detail but the first one I watched was horrific. The poor little guy was screaming and oh the blood. I had to walk away because I had lost my hearing, was sweating, and began to loose my eyesight. (Yes I do believe God called me to be a nurse - I guess I will have to desensitize myself to the blood!) So when my baby had to go for his circumcision on Sunday I was determined to watch the whole thing. Well the doctor came in and set up his station. This time he pulled out a different tool. Basically it cuts off the circulation to the foreskin that needs to be cut off so when he finally cuts it off there is no blood, or rather very little. I asked him why he choose this way and he explained that there is less blood/pain to the baby, it looks better in the long run, and less potential damage to the nerves in the penis (I'm sure all the fellas out there appreciate that!). I was very impressed with the procedure and made a mental note to ask for that type of circumcision if I ever have a little boy someday! Watching the whole process made me appreciate being a girl, that is until I remembered that we bleed EVERY month, haha.
-While I was in the nursery on Saturday I saw an older looking baby being checked out by the nurses. Apparently he was a month old and had come from the NICU to be circumcised before going home. I didn't get to hear the whole story behind him but what I did learn was that his mother died during childbirth. What I could gather was that it was very unexpected and had to do with excessive blood loss. I guess there were four other little ones at home. I cannot even begin to fathom what that father was going through. Not only did he loose his wife but now he had to adjust to life with five little ones on his own. Dying in childbirth is hardly ever talked about these days because it is uncommon but what we forget is that it still happens. I walked away from this sad situation and told myself that if I ever have a child and we both survive I am going to get on my knees and thank the Lord. Every baby is truly a blessing!