I've Got My Running Shoes On...

now if only some guy would keep up!

In second grade Ritchie showed up on my front door to ask if I would be his girlfriend. I shut the door in his face out of utter embarrassment. Not my finest moment.

In the eighth grade I got asked out by Tommy who compared me to Osama Bin Laden (in reference to how sinful I was compared to Christ). Clever comparison, but not a winner with the ladies Tommy. I threw the letter away before anyone could read it and pretended it never happened.

In the ninth grade I had my first boyfriend, Alex. Dating was the thing to do and the relationship was exciting at first but I was not ready to be in a relationship. What 14 year old really is? So in my ever mature 14 year old way I thought if I ignored my boyfriend, who had gotten too clingy, he would just go away. Well he didn't. At least not at first. Eventually it ended.

My freshman year of college I started dating Evan. We lasted for close to a year and a half. Not knowing who we were, falling away from God, wanting different things, being selfish, etc. played a role in why it didn't work. For a year following the relationship we were off and on until I finally was honest with myself and him that God had laid it on my heart that this was not the best for our lives. It was a hard time for me because I thought I would marry this guy. In my mind I was saying goodbye to marriage, possibly permanently, and hello to trusting God completely.

This year has been kinda crazy relationship wise. My fifteen year old downstairs neighbor hit on me multiple times. He came upstairs one time to ask if I'd like his mom to pick me up some McDonalds on her way home because she was bringing him some. No, I am not making that up. He also invited to me to his apartment to help him make brownies because apparently the three steps on the back of the box were mind boggling and he needed someone to help him. Gutsy move on his part but in my mature 22 year old fashion I responded with two simple words; "I'm old" and relieved my second grade days by shutting the door in his face. I felt kinda bad for the poor kid.

A month or so later I was hit on by yet another fifteen year old at a youth event. He was part of the youth band and he so smoothly asked if he "could git my numba." With the kids in my own youth group laughing at the fact that this kid clearly didn't get that I was a leader (my leader shirt probably didn't give it away) I turned bright red. Just when I was starting to question how young I look or what kind of vibe I put out that attracts such young men I was hit on yet again at youth group this past week. A kid from a visiting youth group was using his high school boy charm to feel me out. Before I could cut to the chase one of the girls from my group cleared it up for him; "um, she's like done with college." Completely thrown off he was like "wow, you don't look that old. College huh? That's pretty sweet." Yes it is pretty sweet, but I have a feeling jail wouldn't be.

Throw in a blind date with someone I later found out was almost 9 years old than me. A random date with a kid who came up to me at Starbucks. Side note: my personal feeling is if you have the guts to walk up to me and tell me I am pretty and ask me on a date without knowing me than you at least deserve one date. Not loving Jesus as much as I do and looking like a Jonas brother unfortunately will not get you a second. Add an emotional roller coaster with a friend who was sending "I like you" messages for months and then dropped me all of a sudden for another girl leaving me crushed and you have my year. Can't say its been dull can I?

Why relive my "love life?" Well because as I have said a few times I am 22 and far from where I saw my life at this point. I always assumed I would be married or getting married and running off into the sunset to start our lives together by now.

God has been humbling me and teaching me to wait. I feel as though He is saying;


Emily, do you trust me?

Yes Lord. But...


No Emily, do you REALLY trust me?

Yes Lord. In my head I know that if I wait on your perfect timing you will bring me the BEST mate but getting my heart to truly believe that is tough sometimes.


I know sweet girl but if you wait on me I will bring you someone better than you could ever imagine.

Ok Lord, but this is really hard.


I am right here with you. Just trust me. 

Trusting the Lord to bring the right person at the right time should be easy, right? But its not. At least for me its not. I was emailing my older sister the other day and I was sharing with her what God was teaching me and I got real honest for a moment. It was hard to admit but I felt if I could just get it out and call it what it is then maybe I would be able to deal with it. Marriage has become an idol in my life. I think about it a lot. Thinking of marriage in and of itself is not wrong but when it consumes my thoughts more than God I have a problem.

My sister Kathryn is so full of wisdom and I thank the Lord for giving her to me all the time. She holds me accountable and always points me to Him. Can you tell I really miss having her around? Ha, anyways...she once told me that I should be running wholeheartedly after God and that one day when I least expect it I will look beside me and see a man worthy of my love because he too is running wholeheartedly after God. I didn't like it when she said that because that meant I had to wait. And lets face it I am not the best at having a quiet heart and waiting on the Lord. But as I sit here it is a beautiful picture that I remind myself of often.

I not only want to grow old with someone but I want to find a mate that I will be so complimentary to that others are drawn to Christ because of our relationship and someone I can serve the Lord with for life. Will it be worth the wait? Yes, I believe it will! Do I wish he would show up on my doorstep tomorrow? You bet. But for now I will pray and wait impatiently on my God who has my best interest at heart to bring a man I can only dream of into my life.

This is Kathryn and me last summer. For those who don't know Kathryn left in January for an 11 month mission trip where she travels with a team to a different country every month. Here is my plug for her...to read what she's been up to and what God has been teaching her head over here. And if you could support her with your prayers or financially that would be much appreciated.